The Power of Spiritual Practice
A personal story of transformation
“You have to grow from the inside out. None can teach you; none can make you spiritual. There is no other teacher but your own soul.”
Swami Vivekananda
At the end of my previous post, I suggested that a major power of contemplative spiritual practice is to transform. The focus is on something more personal this time to provide a concrete example for you.
I’ll begin with two words.
40 days.
That’s how long it took for me to learn how to meditate — to take a pause, as some would say. I had tried on my own, many times, over many years – by sitting, willing my mind to “go blank”. But inevitably, I rarely made it through five minutes.
There came a time, however, many years ago now, when I needed this practice to really work – at least work as I expected. I found myself in the midst of a number of stressful life circumstances. I needed a barricade against the winds of my own strong, negative emotions.
Fortunately I was engaged in a spiritual community at the time. There existed within it a group that met on a regular basis to support one another’s meditation practices. I joined, not knowing what to expect, but many years later, I’m still reaping the benefits.
A pivotal point came for me about four months into my participation. Members of the group were asked to consider registration for a 40-day, 20-minute, daily meditation opportunity called Winter Feast for the Soul, promoted across the globe by this international organization each January.
Wanting to finally establish a consistent practice, I said to myself, “I can do just about anything for 40 days. I’m in.” Before long, to my utter amazement, an actual practice of meditation took hold. I felt calmer, more focused, and better able to weather the challenges that faced me each day.
Fast forward a couple of years, with my practice well established, the group was once again presented with a similar 40-day meditation opportunity. This time, however, we were not only asked to engage in daily spiritual practices but to also create intentions around which the practices would be focused.
An observation of mine, over time, was that as people developed spiritually, their practices often seemed to transform them rather than serve as a means to escape certain circumstances or emotions. I was experiencing this in my own life. At this point, I no longer felt the need to escape anything but, instead, to liberate something inside of myself.
I wanted to change qualities of heart I knew to be obstacles for me. One of significance at the time was my lack of forgiveness toward two individuals for whom I held grudges. Every time that familiar sense of resentfulness surfaced within me, I felt repelled and ashamed.
In our meditation group, we had learned something called the Metta prayer, or loving-kindness meditation. This practice uses words, images, and feelings to evoke loving-kindness and friendliness toward oneself and others. I decided it was a perfect fit for the intention of forgiveness I had set for my practice over the next few weeks.
So I began the 40-day journey with a daily 20-minute loving-kindness meditation: first directed at myself, then focused on those I care about, followed by the individuals with whom I was struggling, and finally — for all of humanity.
About 20 days in, I doubted whether this “Metta thing” was actually “working”. With gentleness, my wise teacher told me that loving kindness meditation is not a strategy for fixing something broken but is, in contrast, an unfolding experience of the heart that is in its essence already my true nature.
In humbleness, I carried that wisdom with me for the remainder of the 40 days.
Final Thoughts
At the end of this period, a significant internal shift occurred. The feelings of resentment diminished, and I found myself with a genuine desire for the happiness of the individuals for whom I had previously held resentment. I also sensed a growing compassion for myself and freedom from the guilt, shame and hurt.
Amazing, isn’t it, that a practice so simple could effect such important changes? I continue to use this practice, and others, to nurture the qualities of heart I wish to embody, qualities that will positively impact myself and those around me.
Does this type of transformation necessarily hinge on the use of a certain practice from a specific tradition? In my view, it does not. The practice I chose simply provided an effective structure within which I could focus on my intention of forgiveness.
My wish for you is that your spiritual practices, whatever they may be, will also serve to transform — to create in you the person you want to be in the world.